nikita24480 nikita24480 posted February 19th, 2012 at 11:09 pm to Help!. Viewed 27 times. Answered 19 times.

My daughter has delay development language(We speak English) I have not found any speed up language therapist yet. And also if I can find one, I'm not sure if I can afford one. Is that any mother who got children like that have experiences of working with children like that. Please let me know some tip. How can I work with my child. Theory on the website a lot but I need a practical tips. Such as what should I teach her and how? Games or flash cards....??? I am quiet frustrated right now. Please help

Last answered by nikita24480 about 98 months ago.

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bethsmart82 wrote on February 20th, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Good Answer nikita24480 marked this as a good answer

How old is your child? Is your child's first and only language English?

nikita24480 wrote on February 20th, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Dear Beth( is that your name?)
She is 5 years old now. I was speak Vietnamese to her until she 2 and then I started speak English to her when she went to Vietnamese kindergarten. Eventhough after almost 2 years at Vietnamese kindergarten and seeing my family side every day. Her Vietnamese was so poor. And either her English was extremely poor until 4 years old. When she 4 and a half, we went to see our family for 5 weeks and only since then I realize that with the attention of the whole family: talking with her all the time, playing with her all the time. She eventually started a conversation with us. I have raised that question with my in law and they said I was too much of worry and she has to deal with 2 lanugages at the same time so she will need more time and I believed them. Even I was wondering that even with kid that struggle with nore than 1 language. She is still behind them. I have a lots of friends who has mix kids and all the their kids are fine with 2 languages at the age of 3.
3 months after that, we sent her to French school. A lots of parents told me don't be too much worry, she will pick up soon in 2 months on top. From the time she started( September) until now. I have been constantly had meeting with teacher and mead master about her delay and lack of concentration. Last week the meeting with them, they we need to consider to move Meg to English school at she seem to refuse to learn French and it can cause of her basic English was so poor.

Now I don't know if her delay development language is because of me? Because i did not spend enough time with her since her was smaller. I did not teach her well. I make her confuse by not chosing the mother language at the beginning. Or she actually has the ADHD, or AD or HD or delay development?

I have to admit that I did not spend enough time with her by playing or teaching her everyday but just look after her( i don't know how to play with kid and I under estimate the value of that activities) I am hoping that is the main reason base on the fact after we spent time which each other at Italy. Her language was so much improved.

But if what I am wrong and she actually did have ADHD or development delay? Then is anything I can do for her? We are gonna teaching her but how and what the best way of doing that. Cause if she is delay then we need a special way of teaching. That's my concern.

Many thanks for reading my post and reply in kind like this. Regards

Republic wrote on March 11th, 2012 at 11:34 am

Just increase the time and focus you spend with her.
And decrease the amount of anxiety you have too.

Change the focus from what she can't say to teaching her what to say.

Visit the foreign bookstore with her regularly, the childrens section, make it fun...and see what she gravitates towards.

BOOKS are the key. English mums and dad's get a book out every week, rad to their kids every day,and we are talking from babies. The public library have mum and babies reading days and parents take two books home and a song CD. And these are in packs.
The value of reading to your child is underestimated.
If you start with big, picture
The Very Hungry Caterpillar...try that book and you will be amazed at the interest it creates for your daughter.

Most of all don't transfer your anxiety and worry onto your daughter. Chances are she may be just a little shy around people.
And in everything you do with her,...washing her hair, doing up her shoes, spending time in the park, talk to her, get down to her level and see the word she sees. Talk to her about her world.

Mother of Two!

English Nursery rhymes.

English songs.

CD and book combinations.

Big coloured picture books.
English DVD's

Make a story time during the day.
Make a song time during the day.
Learn the songs and sing them to her.
Sing with her. Talk to her.

Bedtime story read to her every night.

anna85 wrote on March 11th, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Hi Nikita,

The advice in the last post is good. The more you speak to her the more she will learn even if the talking comes later - the listening and hearing is very, very important to language development.

I would like to add that her progress in speaking appears similar to both my cousin AND my husband's brother. (both hyper-active and over-energetic with little attention span and also slow to start talking).

Both of them were finally found to have problems with their hearing. My cousin now has a hearing aid and my husband's brother had an ear condition which was easily fixed - although he still talks quite loudly! If you have not already I would recommend you have a doctor check her hearing as she may be partially deaf and I am sure that not being able to hear properly made their attention span shorter.

My cousin still learned slowly as she had other mental problems but she is now at college, drives a car etc and is a lot less hyperactive. My husband's brother has been through university and you would never know he had trouble talking when he was young (in fact you can never get him to stop talking!!)

Even if her hearing is not the problem there are many things to do with low attention span and/or slow learning.

The main issue with getting children to learn anything - especially if it is hard for them - is keeping their attention so using songs, bright colours, books and games etc are all recommended.

If she didn't hear any English before the age of 4 it will probably be harder for her to hear the different sounds in English that are not found in Vietnamese but this does NOT mean she will never learn them - just that it may take a bit more work.

You can google "language sensitive window age" or something similar for more information on this theory.

If the number of students in her class at school are big she may not be getting the attention she needs in class. This is just another thing to consider...

I will be hopefully working in Hanoi teaching English for the next 4 months and some of my classes will very likely be children's classes so if I learn anything more I will post to you again.

For yourself: Don't blame yourself - in Britain almost no-one hears a new language until they are 8 years old and even as adults most of us only know one language. Having two languages will be a big advantage in life for your daughter - even if it takes longer for her than others.

Best wishes

louisebeardow wrote on March 11th, 2012 at 3:36 pm

You could take her to see Dr Orly at family medical Practice. She is a specialist in childhood development.

bethsmart82 wrote on March 11th, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Children who speak two (or more languages) often are slightly delayed in overall language development.....they are learning more language concepts.

I find that one of the biggest problems with children who are learning more than one language is that they get confused when they should be speaking each language and will often mix them up. Make sure there are clear boundaries when she is to speach each lanague eg she knows she needs to speak French at school and English at home.

Any child who has difficulties with language development should master one language first before moving onto a second language.

mimilikestea wrote on March 12th, 2012 at 12:18 am
mimilikestea (elite user)

My parents thought I was retarded because I couldn't speak i.e. properly express, anything in either language up until I was 3. I was a baby when we moved to Australia and was learing English and Vietnamese at the same time. When I was 9, we moved from Manhattan to Hanoi and I learned how to read and write in Vietnamese after intense Vietnamese tutoring all summer. When I was 11 I learned some French because my parents had ideas of sending me to France for school. I am moving to France next year to "finish the job" and become fluent. So from personal experience, learning another language or being able to speak multiple languages as a child was very confusing and difficult because you're also learning another culture.
I highly recommend that you take your child to a child therapist just to make sure she doesn't have any emotional/psychological/developmental problems i.e. ADHD, autism, stress, speech impediment, dyslexia or a learning disability...Some people are born with their disorders, some develop them as they grow. Fortunately, many people are able to overcome their mental disorders with effective medication, quality therapy when necessary and a loving, patient support system, this last one is probably most important.

mimilikestea wrote on March 12th, 2012 at 12:28 am
mimilikestea (elite user)

I don't think you should worry too much either, you sound like a concerned caring mother.
There are many language websites that help children learn more vocabulary. My baby sister is 6 and likes to play with technology (computers, ipads, iphones) so I bookmarked her favourite activity website, all she has to do is turn on Firefox and press her bookmark and play. A computer can't substitute parental care but it's a good idea for when you need a break and it's better than turning on the TV.

Or playing music? My baby sister is always singing songs we didn't think she'd remember the lyrics to.

Republic wrote on March 13th, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I read that for bilingual children...the English parent speaks only in English. The VN parent speaks only in VN. So the child learns two languages at the same time with little confusion.
And yes I agree with the get a paediatric check up and assess all skills for the level.
You will know what skills she is strong in...and what need developing. And where you can be proactive.
But the biggest value for the check-up will be to put your mind at rest and stop the Mom anxiety. When you know how things are you don't have so much worry and concern. even if your daughter is a little "behind" she can catch up with everyone's help. More likely she will be fine. All the best to you caring Mom.

Republic wrote on March 13th, 2012 at 6:24 pm

A developmental check-up may be around $60 USD? And if she is fine she won't need a therapist at all.

Vi-Curious wrote on March 14th, 2012 at 10:35 am

Music and songs. Especially if you can play an instrument. Even just a few chords on the guitar.
Sing and play music. From what I've read and understand, this may be a way.

I wish you the best.

nikita24480 wrote on March 16th, 2012 at 8:56 am

We have paid for language assessment 350$. And the solution is we need to focus on 1 language at a time. So sadly we have to move her out of French school. We will send her to English Vietnamese school and have English tutor at home. I am very sad at the moment.....

bethsmart82 wrote on March 16th, 2012 at 10:33 am

Can I ask who you had her assessed by and what language was the assessment in?

mimilikestea wrote on March 16th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
mimilikestea (elite user)

Maybe you should find play dates for your daughter.

At school, children are supposed to learn and the only time they are allowed to talk to each other is either before school, during recess (break time) or after school. So even though your daugther goes to English school, she might not be improving because she doesn't have enough time to practice.

So you can find a tutor or you can befriend a mommy who has an English or Vietnamese speaking daugther and have the children play and speak to each other. This would be fun AND improve your daughter's social and language skills. And you can talk or confide in the other mommy, it's a win win.

My baby sister, who is 6 years old, and mom, who is 44 this year will be in Hanoi in about 2 months. I think you should meet her because she has 20 years of experience in raising children with language problems and it'd be nice for her to meet and confide in someone who share her struggles.

Or watch movies with your daughter. It definitely helps family bonding and you can ask/answer each other's questions. Nothing beats watching Die Hard and Leathal Weapon with your dad.

Aussieinnam wrote on March 16th, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I disagree with mimilikestea about schools not being places where children can talk to each other. It depends on the school/teacher but at your daughter's age language development is a huge component of their learning. Collaborative group, pair-work and discussions should all feature in the classroom.
That being said play dates are an excellent suggestion. I also found the book "It Takes Two to Talk" (By Hanen I think) offers excellent strategies to help support a child with language delays. Another possibility is using some form of sign language - this acts as a visual reminder of the vocabulary the child is looking for, AND can help alleviate some of the frustration these children often feel with not being able to communicate effectively. Best of luck to both you and your daughter.

nikita24480 wrote on March 16th, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Thanks a lot my dear friends( May I call you so?)
That was my mistake when I was trying to speak English with her instead of Vietnamese( my mother language). Now we need to move her out of French school. Forget about French and focus in English at school and home with tutor and of course some Vietnamese go on the side as I was suggested by therapist that I should move back to speak in my language. We will run marathon with her from now until Nov or Dec. Hopefully she can be fluent at English, Then I will move back to french again to see how she feel.
We do have play day. Actually I have arranged for Megan to have playdate with some friends in class but seem they was not getting a long too well.

We have play date every weekend with children who speak both English, French and even Vietnamese. Every weekend we go the the park together or the playground or movie. At home I have a lot of books and DVD( education and fun ones) I also have software in computer to teach her English and play games while we doing it.....
The therapist said she had no problem with hearing. She is lovely and happy child. She has poor vocabulary.
I am gonna seeing some tutor next week. Anna: Are you the one who contact me via my phone to offer your help?

Thanks a lot guy, pls keep coming back with tips or even only sharing. I am gonna keep you update as much as I can

anna85 wrote on March 16th, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Hi Nikita,

Yes, I contacted you and am looking forward to seeing you both on Monday. Can you message me your full address please? (text message or private message on here are both fine) Thanks.

Joseph wrote on March 16th, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Here's what I think: if both parents are Vietnamese, then speak only that at home. It will always be the langauge of her country and culture. If one parent is Viet and the other English speaking, then speak both, but make it consistent who speaks which. Send her to an English medium school, or a Vietnamese one with a strong English element if you want.

Received wisdom is that kids can develop 2 or more languages at once, but go a bit more slowly. However, if there is any real language delay diagnosed, then I think you're supposed to stick to one.

I think some parents get over ambitious about making kids into polyglots. I also think you don't need all that software and games. Just relaxed nice time time together talking about whatever comes naturally.

And kids that age don' talk much to each other. You can arrange a play date, and they just play near each other, with not much verbal interaction. So no need to wrry when thet don't play and talk with other kids.

I am no expert at all, just a parent who takes an interest in these things because my 4 yr old's mother and I have different first languages.

nikita24480 wrote on March 17th, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Mimilikestea: pls pass your mum email address( off course if she does not mind) then I will contact her. Of course I love to see her and talk to her.

Thanks a lot Joseph for your knowledge of kids.

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